You have tried affirmations. You stand there and proclaim, I am smart, I am worthy of being loved. And the whole time, Pema Chodron points out, something inside you is quietly saying, sure you are. That is why it does not work. We look everywhere outside ourselves, to other people, to spiritual practice, to jogging, to meditation, trying to make ourselves feel good about who we are. And it keeps slipping away. In this talk, Pema introduces a Sanskrit word at the heart of real compassion: Maitri. Unconditional friendship with oneself. It is very hard to come by, she admits, because it is far more common for us to disapprove of and denigrate ourselves. She tells a cartoon she loves, of a man kneeling by his bed in prayer saying, I asked you as nicely as I could to make me a better person, but apparently you couldn't be bothered. That self-rejection is what most of us live inside. Maitri is the slow work of making friends with yourself, of feeling at home in your own mind and body, and stopping the search for it on the outside. It is, she says, the seed of happiness. And the door to it runs through something we would rather avoid: our relationship with pain. The Buddha taught that a certain amount of pain in life is inevitable. Aging, illness, dying, and the grief that comes precisely because we love. His revolutionary teaching was not to struggle against that pain, but to move closer to it, to become intimate with comfort and discomfort, pleasure and pain, grief and joy, the embarrassment of being oneself and the feeling of success. Not the news we like to hear. But, Pema suggests, the thing most worth contemplating. Want to go deeper with Pema Chodron? Join Sounds True One for more teachings like this. Get your first month FREE at https://bit.ly/4ctecMn Subscribe to Sounds True's YouTube Channel ► https://bit.ly/SubscribeSTYT Sounds True is a mission-driven learning and media company, and a recognized leader in wellbeing, personal growth, and spiritual transformation. Partnering with the world’s foremost wisdom teachers and best-selling authors, the company reaches millions worldwide with its unique programs, digital learning experiences, and worldwide events. The company also features a variety of original series, weekly shows, and live online experiences on Sounds True One, its global platform and community with members across more than 125 countries. Sounds True is a Public Benefit Corporation and also the home of the Sounds True Foundation. Connect with us: ▪️Facebook: http://bit.ly/2XFIIeE ▪️Instagram: http://bit.ly/2UlEoiH ▪️Website: http://bit.ly/2tOl02d