You think your partner did the hurtful thing on purpose. Often, they did not. They genuinely did not see it, did not get it, are simply wired to think about it differently. And that single misread, assuming intention where there is only difference, quietly damages the safety of countless relationships. In this conversation, prompted by a question from a woman recently diagnosed with autism who struggles to recognise the emotions she should react to, Stan Tatkin explains why brain differences surface in love relationships more than anywhere else. A relationship is the most resource-demanding thing we ever do, more demanding than work, which is why our differences in processing, logistics, and emotion show up here and almost nowhere else. The work is mutual. It is the partner's job to learn how this person is wired, just as much as it is the diagnosed person's job to find words for what they experience. I have a responsibility to know you inside out, and to keep learning you, because I depend on you. And that word, depend, is where Stan pushes back hard against the culture. The me-ism of I, me, mine contradicts everything we know about our biology. We are not lone wolves. We are dependent, pair-bonding herd animals. The few true lone wolves are outliers, and they are not interested in you anyway. So you and your partner are each other's difficult person, and that is not a flaw. Your differences, if you accept them, are your superpower. The two of you against an indifferent world, kept safe by agreements you make with no one else. Survival first. Then thriving. And it has to be yours alone, not your parents', not anyone else's, tailored to exactly who you both are. Want to go deeper with Stan Tatkin? Join Sounds True One for more teachings like this. Get your first month FREE at https://bit.ly/4ctecMn Subscribe to Sounds True's YouTube Channel ► https://bit.ly/SubscribeSTYT Sounds True is a mission-driven learning and media company, and a recognized leader in wellbeing, personal growth, and spiritual transformation. Partnering with the world’s foremost wisdom teachers and best-selling authors, the company reaches millions worldwide with its unique programs, digital learning experiences, and worldwide events. The company also features a variety of original series, weekly shows, and live online experiences on Sounds True One, its global platform and community with members across more than 125 countries. Sounds True is a Public Benefit Corporation and also the home of the Sounds True Foundation. Connect with us: ▪️Facebook: http://bit.ly/2XFIIeE ▪️Instagram: http://bit.ly/2UlEoiH ▪️Website: http://bit.ly/2tOl02d