David Brooks explains why the way you look at someone changes who they become, and how to be the kind of person who makes others feel truly seen. Only about 30% of people, he estimates, are genuine question askers. The rest are what he calls diminishers: uncurious, quick to stereotype, prone to learning one fact about you and inventing the rest. Illuminators do the opposite. They are curious, they listen, and they make you feel lit up. Brooks admits he often fails at this himself, catching himself at parties in what he calls broadcast mode. Drawing on Simone Weil, who said attention is the ultimate form of generosity, and Iris Murdoch, who urged us to cast a just and loving attention on others instead of looking with self-serving eyes, Brooks shows what that gaze can actually do. In a Waco diner, a pastor grabbed a formidable 93-year-old woman by the shoulders and told her she was the best and that he loved her. In an instant, she became a bright-eyed nine-year-old girl. Even at Bell Labs, the most productive researchers were not the ones with higher IQs. They were the ones who ate lunch with a single engineer who asked them about their work. He closes with the story of a writer who believed he was incapable of love, until four days in Sri Lanka after the 2004 tsunami showed him what real love looks like, and changed the course of his life. Want to go deeper with David Brooks? Join Sounds True One for more teachings like this. Get your first month FREE at https://bit.ly/4ctecMn Subscribe to Sounds True's YouTube Channel ► https://bit.ly/SubscribeSTYT Sounds True is a mission-driven learning and media company, and a recognized leader in wellbeing, personal growth, and spiritual transformation. Partnering with the world’s foremost wisdom teachers and best-selling authors, the company reaches millions worldwide with its unique programs, digital learning experiences, and worldwide events. The company also features a variety of original series, weekly shows, and live online experiences on Sounds True One, its global platform and community with members across more than 125 countries. Sounds True is a Public Benefit Corporation and also the home of the Sounds True Foundation. Connect with us: ▪️Facebook: http://bit.ly/2XFIIeE ▪️Instagram: http://bit.ly/2UlEoiH ▪️Website: http://bit.ly/2tOl02d