I want to bring to light a disturbing revelation that has been brought forth by the research department at the GLF headquarters.

Camels and Reindeer have been used throughout history in place of the noble Giraffe!

It seems now defunct sandlot organizations of bleeding heart Camel supporters feigning ‘equality’ for humped animals covertly altered the biblical texts of history by inserting the ‘Camel’ as the transport of the three wise men, in place of the Giraffe, who were the true carriers of nobility in those days! Alas, the true comes out! Kings and Queens of old would not have been caught dead on a Camel! The Giraffe was the transport of choice due to our unique reticulated and aesthetically appealing appearance!

Another myth that has come to light is that of Reindeers transporting Santa Claus! A complete lie! Imagine Reindeers pulling Santa’s sleigh! Absurd! The truth is that Giraffes pulled Santa’s sleigh! Indeed! It is true! Reindeer are too easily distracted by their own horns, Santa would never get anything done! Santa knew instinctively that Giraffes were superior, and single minded of purpose! The original Giraffes that carried his sleigh were among our most noble ancestors!

Their names have been closeted into the darks shadows of history due to a conspiracy of drunken elves with neo-fascist purposes to replace our kind with that of mindless animals so as to bring more attention on themselves! Well, I am here to say it did not work! The truth is now out!

GIRAFFES ARE NOT HUMPED OR IRREVERENTLY HORNED MINDLESS ANIMALS THAT CAN BE TRICKED INTO BEING LOST TO HISTORY! WE HAVE A RICH HISTORY! THUS WE HAVE FORMED THE GLF TO UNITE US IN OUR CAUSE! WE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY LONGER BEING SUBSTITUTED IN THE ARCHIVES OF HISTORY BY MASQUERADING CHARLATANS!

About Toodles G. Raffe

I am a Giraffe with radical views about the world. I do not expect to get into heaven without picking the lock, so if God is watching, the least I can do is be entertaining. View all posts by Toodles G. Raffe