Tami Simon describes her mother, who lived to ninety-three and once told her she had lost seven friends in a single year. The heaviness never moved through her. It stayed, and in Tami's words it buried her. Mark Nepo answers carefully, and begins by refusing to judge anyone. Grief is a harsh teacher, and nobody knows how to do this, so there is no verdict to pass on what it does to a person. What he offers instead is a correction. We do not get over grief. We get under it. We are changed by it. He speaks about his friend Paul, who helped him through his own cancer forty years ago and who lost his wife four years ago to a sudden heart attack. Life, he says, will never be the same, and we are forced to reimagine the world. His image is a drop of iodine in a glass of water. One drop colours the whole glass. Loss at that depth tints everything. A year and a half in, Paul asked whether he would ever know joy again. Nepo said he did not know, and then said what he believes: yes, but not the same joy. It will carry the new colour, as everything now does. Breaking through to joy is not getting rid of difficulty. It is like the waves, the same water, but we are going deeper. Then he retells a story he loves, an Oscar Wilde prose poem from 1894, admitting he cannot recite it exactly. A sculptor wants to cast a bronze of the peace that abides in every moment and finds there is no bronze left in the world. Then he remembers the statue on his dearest friend's grave, called the sorrow that endures forever. He goes there, weeps, and carries it back to his foundry to melt it down, and out of it casts the peace. We are the bronze, Nepo says. And then, immediately, the part that matters most: sometimes we can do it and sometimes we cannot. Tami's mother could have done it, and he could just as easily have been her. Want to go deeper with Mark Nepo? Join Sounds True One for more teachings like this. Get your first month FREE at https://bit.ly/4ctecMn Subscribe to Sounds True's YouTube Channel ► https://bit.ly/SubscribeSTYT Sounds True is a mission-driven learning and media company, and a recognized leader in wellbeing, personal growth, and spiritual transformation. Partnering with the world’s foremost wisdom teachers and best-selling authors, the company reaches millions worldwide with its unique programs, digital learning experiences, and worldwide events. The company also features a variety of original series, weekly shows, and live online experiences on Sounds True One, its global platform and community with members across more than 125 countries. Sounds True is a Public Benefit Corporation and also the home of the Sounds True Foundation. Connect with us: ▪️Facebook: http://bit.ly/2XFIIeE ▪️Instagram: http://bit.ly/2UlEoiH ▪️Website: http://bit.ly/2tOl02d