Have you been struggling to adapt properly to the clocks going forward by an hour last month? If so, the true reason may shock you: your internal body-clock is gay. Yawning because you’ve lost an hour in bed reveals your metabolism is innately homosexual and is engaging in a noble act of rainbow rebellion against the externally imposed anti-queer time-measuring methods of the narrow-minded heteronormative social dictatorship within which you and your oppressed corporeal frame are forced to live. For today’s truly liberated chronoqueer, life is there to be lived to the ticking of your inner own clock, not anybody else’s: forget British Summer Time, it’s time to begin operating on British Bummer Time.

That is the liberating message now emanating from Canada, a land so woke Lake Superior will soon be renamed Lake Equity. Its universities appear even more captured by madness than our own, as proven by an amusing new academic paper, ‘Temporal Disobedience: Intersex Timescapes, Chronopolitics and Intersex Joy’, due to be published in the journal Feminist Theory’s special ‘Intersex Joy’ issue this April. The co-authors describe themselves as follows:

Read More: A Brief History of ‘Trans Time’